Dating. It seems like it’s always something I talk about, always on my mind. I recently finished the no dating challenge that lasted a whole year, and in turn I tried to use that time to focus more on God. But it seems that I finished the challenge and I was already back on the dating track. I went on a first date less than a month after the challenge had ended, and found myself caught up in excitement. Soon I entered a relationship with this girl and it just recently ended when I broke up with her about a week ago. But you see, I was so blinded by emotional attachment and the excitement of a new relationship that I basically threw my requirements out the window without giving it a second look. Now the girl I was dating wasn’t a christian, she didn’t meet my number one requirement. Now I’m not saying she was a bad person or that I didn’t care for her because that wouldn’t be true. She was great, the sense of humor, her morals, and desires they are all great, and she deserves somebody great as well. But while talking to two of my most close friends, and a great pastor it made me continue to dwell on the list of requirements that I had made before the challenge was over and eventually led to my decision to end the relationship.
Now you’re probably thinking “List of requirements? That’s selfish.” The list of requirements are things needed in order to date me. Now it seems selfish, but when we think about dating it’s really about marriage. You date because you have plans of eventually marrying, not so you can use them to find what type of person you want to marry. So I had my list of requirements, some I shared with you some I kept to myself. But high atop that list said the person I would date needed to be a christian, but its more than that now. It’s not about just being a christian, it’s about having somebody who is equally yoked. If the person you’re with doesn’t believe it like you do then it’s not right either, because if the person you’re dating isn’t pulling you closer to God then where are they pulling you? You see the devil has always been sly. And he can use almost anything to pull us away from God, even other people’s good intentions. People we date that aren’t christian most likely have no desire to pull us away from God, but instead just want somebody that they care for that will care for them back. But the devil can use this to pull us away, it starts by giving up small things like the kinds of music we listen to or the things we say, but it soon continues on to be something larger than we expect. It gets us to a point where we become to emotionally attached to turn back, so we continue moving in a direction we know we shouldn’t. This is why as Christians we need to be dating and marrying people who are going to draw us closer to God and strengthen our relationship with him. Not just a christian who will be okay with your faith but has no desire to grow on their own.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
So now atop my list it doesn’t say: 1. Needs to be a Christian.
It says: 1. Needs to be a Christian who shares the same love for Christ that I have, and needs to be pulling me closer to God.
But you see, that can be a tough thing to measure. It starts with an obvious showing of faith, and for me is going to be somebody who is trying to grow their faith stronger every day. Its going to be someone who serves a lot, shows love, and genuinely is trying to leave their life of sin.
Now I encourage you to hold me accountable. Let me know when I’m doing something wrong, call me out, and make sure its genuine.
1 Corinthians 7:8-9 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.